Chasing Cars

Its been so long since ive written here, cant belive its been more than 6 months now. Wonder if its sheer lazyness that drives me to stay put with the thoughts running through my head or just the fact that i dont have anything particularly exciting or interesting to offer; in terms of life's lessons.
And to be very honest, its this weather : dreamy and dull, nostalgic and happy that really is my only motivation to write.
Rains. Rains make me very happy. You know that wierd feeling in the heart? or is it the stomach? True happinesss that makes me smile right in the middle of a crowded bus; or on a onely footpath as i walk down half drenched, shivering cold and music in my ears. Im born in August and perhaps thats why i love the rains so much . Or maybe ive just had a lot of happy memories in the rains and thats why they make me so happy, so chatty, so lively.

It also makes me very nostalgic. I go back to think about all the happy times i had; and i remember only little. Life changes SO much. Im going to be 25 this year and in the last 3-4 years, so many things have changed in my friend's lives and mine; Im almost having a 'mid -20s crisis' as a friend says! Come to think of it; Life is a lot difficult when you want to stop and gather the best pieces and stay with it. Life doesnt allow you to stay where you are and feel contented. Its like a train that stops at various stations, but just in case you love staying at one of these it wont let you stay there. It will forcibly carry you with it to the next destination. And yes, you could choose to stay at any of these stops if you'd like; but then you see everyone else who boards the train and you're left all alone there. And when you're alone; any place doesnt look pretty anymore.

Why do we have to work so hard to make things right? or to keep them the same? why doesnt it work everytime we try to do so? Why does happiness feel so temporary and short-lived?Why cant we just be happy to explore the other destinations of our life and enjoy each one as it comes? why does life give us One advice: to keep going and never stop?

It was my best friend's birthday. He wasnt here. He missed this place, us, me, this country. And i thought must write something to make him feel better in one of those low days. I wrote down something and framed it. Its a hot summer afternoon. I need a courier office to be open on a weekend to courier this gift. The frame is made of glass and it might break. The courier office doesnt accept it. I search. I hunt. Im tired. 3 of them reject the consignment. The last one i beg.
He smiles and warns: Its not our responsibility if this breaks. I nod. Even if broken pieces reach him; the words will say just about the same thing.

Another year, Its my best friend's birthday. I dont call. He doesnt care. We dont talk.